Monday, March 30, 2009

Great Movie One Liners That Still Work

Have you ever been in a situation where you needed a great one liner comeback to your spouse,boss, kids, coworkers, checkout person and you fell silent, powerless to project the zinger, the ice-breaker, the "I wish I would have thought of..." phrase? Well, wait no more. I have comprised my own collection that I will not only share with you, but also demonstrate how I use it to all the above people in all the above situations. In this era of economic unrest, cultural clashes, and systemic stress for every possible reason, it's time for the more humorous, absurd and happy moments to lighten the burdens. So here goes.


  • Lighten up,Francis (Stripes): I used this one so much with my four kids growing up that I have now gained custody of it.
  • Houston, we've got a problem (Apollo 13): Great for any person teaching school, especially in lab situations. It lets a student know they screwed up without making them feel like an idiot.
  • That's gonna leave a mark (Tommy Boy): This is a great one liner for those times when you look and feel like a klutz the result of which is not a serious injury but an embarrassing one. Examples are falling up the stairs, banging your head on the cupboard door, and tripping over anything in your home or upscale restaurant.
  • You can't handle the truth (A Few Good Men): Great to use in customer service conflicts. No company wants to appear as if they are not above board...except Bernie Madow, AIG, and Fox News.
  • I've got a brain for business and a bod for sin (Working Girl): No brainer. Working girls use this with cerebral discretion! Of course it really helps if you have a body like Melanie Griffith.
  • The "wubby" must go. (Mr. Mom): The description of the tired, worn blanket of Michael Keaton's young son when Keaton said the blanket had to be disposed. Great to use for your husband when his favorite tee shirt has the fourth hole in it or jeans are threadbare in the wrong places and definitely not cool looking.
  • Get outta' my chair. (Clueless): Cher's ( Alicia Silverstone) rich father orders Cher's new friend out of the head dining chair. As a teacher, I loved this quote, and used it often. Also works with precocious children who are lounging in your recliner.
  • It's good. It's gooooooood! (Bruce Almighty): So easy. Use this after a great meal, great sex, or great anything. Disclaimer. If you don't say it like Jim Carrey, it loses it's effect.
  • I had it made just for you, Darlin' (Urban Cowboy): Pam uses her charm, beauty and pocketbook to woo Bud away from Sissy. More important is the song, Look What You've Done to Me, Boz Scaggs...just an incredibly sexy scene. Put that tune in the old Ipod docker and try out that line, doesn't even have to be a custom shirt...cookies, socks, or monogrammed Snuggy will do.
  • They call me Cha Cha because I'm the best dancer at St. Bernadette's. (Grease): I don't why this is my favorite one liner from Grease but once you see Cha Cha in that grinding , gyrating dance with Danny, any girl who has attended parochial school gets it.... When to use? Anytime you go out clubbing....everyone in America has seen Grease except Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh (The Bully Twins).
  • I believe you Dad, but will Mom buy it? (National Lampoon's Vacation): This is the hilarious scene where Clark is trying to explain away his skinny dip with Christy Brinkley in the motel pool to his son, Rusty. It can be used in so many venues, just juggle the titles or names i.e. "I believe you, Joe the Plumber, but will anyone with a brain buy it?"
  • Take me to bed or lose me forever (Top Gun): Great one-liner delivered by Meg Ryan to "Goose". Directions on how to use this one-liner are not included. It's just available for all married ladies out there because it is at once both endearing and sexy. Jeez, that's how I want to be remembered!

Well, there you have it, twelve movie one-liners that are available, time tested, and free for the taking. There are definitely many more memorable movie lines out there, but as I said in the beginning, the twelve I chose are interchangeable with the lives we lead. Go ahead, make my day!




Friday, March 27, 2009

Are You Ready to Tweet in the World of Twittersphere?

By now, unless you have given up the Internet for Lent or you just don't trust any communication that doesn't have a stamp on it, you have surely heard of Twitter. Rick Sanchez of CNN plucked the interactive social networking into his pm show and watched his ratings soar. I joined a month ago and already as "birdsivue" I have found interesting people and sites. I enjoy breaking news and news you can use. Twitter is the high tech version of "pass it on". Only now, instead of whispering in some one's ear, you are "passing on" personal tidbits composed of 140 characters of text to well, the World!
If you follow celebrities and want to know that Jimmy Fallon had meetings all morning or that "Shaq" ran into his fav reporter, Cheryl Miller, in Portland, you are a "twitterlebrity", meaning either you get a thrill from being allowed into the lives of the rich and famous or you wish you somehow could twitter your way into fame. Ironically many famous people who tell you about the most mundane routines of their day, hire writers to post this twitterings correctly and they are called "ghost twitterers". Brittany Spears was recently looking for a decent ghost twitterer. Well, at least this helps the stimulus plan by creating new jobs. If you author bad tweets, you could be twat upon. If you are addicted to the "twittersphere" you are a "tweetaholic". The words you use in a tweet are "twords" of course. If you send off a tweet you wish you hadn't, it's a "mistweet". We people of the Twitter World are called "tweeps", no not creeps, OK? By now are you feeling a little twitter of understanding of this in- the- clouds networking? I just made up my own twitterism, "twitty", no not Conway Twitty, but twitty meaning funny, LOL, or LMAO. Of course, who can forget the great line in the movie, "Arthur", when Arthur's butler called him "You little twit!" I think that twits should now describe kid twitterers and older folks should be termed "jittertwitters" and send their tweets sms via their Jitterbug phones. Okay, I'll bring this to a close, but before you dismiss this phenomena as a a mindless collection of one-liners, note that surgeons are now using Twitter during complicated surgeries in order to communicate procedures. On the lighter side, go The Huffington Post and check out the video, Fail Whale Cartoon. It's absolutely "twitty"!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Are Spring Breakers Breaking our Beach?

As I was doing my morning tweets on Twitter, I gasped at my comment on a comparison of Spring Brakers (sic)to AIG. There it was..a misspell for all the Twitter World to see. (See follow my twitter below). First I was ready to complete a damage control tweet but then I realized this was an opportunity to make a point. Are today's Spring Breakers, the phrase that depicts the rite of spring where thousands of college students flock to the beach in order to blow off steam from excruciating college work as depicted in the film, "Where The Boys Are" or are they just a collection of self serving Generation Y hooligans who have degenerated into Spring Breakers, i.e. breakers of local laws, patio furniture, beach rules, and, yes, the hearts of true beach lovers who respect the beauty and wonder of one of the crown jewels of nature. This year, the term "breakers" describe the disruption, disrespect and irreparable damage to Panama City Beach. The problem is that in the world of Pottery Barn, "if you break it, you own it." Here at the Emerald Beach, they are only in the business of breaking. In terms of human causalities there are at least 4 deaths, three falls from high rise ledges, the injuries vary from paralysis to facial damage, several date rape complaints and and too many altercations with law enforcement and each other to compute. And to think, we are only half way through the Spring Break season.
As a former Hoosier who is now making Panama City Beach my home, I have observed this disturbing phenomena up close and personal. First it was the eight students who rented the condo next to ours only to have a fight break out and obscenities being shouted from the sidewalk, yes but we're the family friendly complex...so much for that claim in the brochure.
Having breathed a sign of relief and welcoming quiet nights once again as their vehicles departed did not last long, two hours later, along came a football team group from a college in Mississippi which included six guys and their six girlfriends quietly assuming the position for their turn at destruction. It was the only time that quiet prevailed. They were loud, crude and thought nothing of urinating outside for the view of any and all, great example for the children once again. Of course poor lads, with only two restrooms in the condo and twelve having nature call, what's a jerk supposed to do?? Thankfully our Condo Manager booted them at midweek. But if any of you think our greater Tourist Development Association of Panama City Beach would want that expulsion to happen at the high rise condos that line the beaches, I've got a condo I want to sell you at 2005 prices!!




The TDA (Tourist Development Association) has sold it's profit making soul to the debacle of young adults behaving badly. In a climate of economic crisis, unemployment and fear of foreclosure, what we have here is a cavalier attitude displayed not only by selfish, overindulgent college students(using that term very lightly) but also shared by the greedy adults who if not created are accomplices to this landfill of toxic behavior and slob mentality. It has already cost the demise of many Canadian "snowbirds" who have openly vowed to return to Canadian Sunsets that are unfettered by garbage albeit in subzero temperatures before their return to Panama City Blight.




They say that a picture is worth 1000 words and I want to applaud the New England School of Photography for using their craft to depict what is happening in Panama City Beach. Go the the Panama City News Herald website:http://newsherald.emeraldcoastphotoseast.com/mycapture/enlarge.asp?userphoto=0&image=22852702&thispage=1 for a view that underscores the norm of behavior these past weeks. To Panama City Beach residents and to those who are stewards of our beaches, enough is enough!